Caregiver Support

Caregiver Check-In

A free help guide from Kind Path Guide

Caregiver Check-In: how heavy is the load right now?

Thirty-four quick questions that show where caregiving is costing you the most, area by area, so you know what to ask for and who to ask.

Checked September 5, 2026. The questions do not change, but the programs and phone numbers in the next steps section can. Please confirm before you rely on any listing here.

Why it helps to name the load

Most caregivers I talk with cannot say where it hurts. They just know they are tired. When a state Family Caregiver Support Program takes someone on, the first thing the care consultant does is a structured assessment, because caregiving strains people in different ways and the help that works for one person does nothing for another. Respite fixes a time problem. It does not fix a relationship problem, or the feeling that you have lost yourself.

This check-in walks the same six areas those programs look at, in plain language, in about ten minutes. Nothing is stored or sent anywhere. What you get is a clear picture of which areas are heavy, which are light, and what to ask for first.

1 in 4US adults are now caring for a family member or friend, about 63 million people.

64%of caregivers say the role causes them emotional stress.

1 in 5caregivers report frequent mental distress, against about 1 in 7 non-caregivers.

20%say their own health is worse because of caregiving.

23%have taken on debt because of caregiving.

The evidence is encouraging. In two randomized studies, caregivers who received a tailored assessment and care plan saw their stress, their sense of losing themselves, and their depressive symptoms fall over the following months, while caregivers who got the usual help saw all three rise. They were also less likely to be planning a nursing home move.

Sources: AARP and National Alliance for Caregiving, Caregiving in the US 2025; CDC Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report, August 2024, Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System 2021 to 2022; Montgomery and colleagues, Journal of Gerontology: Social Sciences, 2011, two randomized trials of the TCARE protocol. This check-in is inspired by the areas that protocol measures. It is not the TCARE tool and is not a diagnosis of anything.

1Your time and daily life

In the past month, how much has caregiving...

1. Taken time you would otherwise spend on your own activities?

2. Cut into your sleep or rest?

3. Kept you from seeing friends or family the way you would like?

4. Left you with little privacy or time to yourself?

5. Affected your work, your finances or your ability to earn?

6. Made it hard to keep up with your own health appointments or exercise?

2How the relationship feels

How much do you feel the person you care for...

1. Asks for more help than they actually need?

2. Tries to get you to do things by making you feel guilty?

3. Makes requests that go beyond what you think is reasonable?

4. Does not notice or appreciate what you do?

5. Expects you to be the one who does everything?

3What it is doing to you

These days, how much do you feel...

1. Anxious or worried about what comes next?

2. Stretched thin, as if there is no room for one more thing?

3. Trapped, or unable to step away from caregiving?

4. Nervous, on edge or easily upset?

5. Tired in a way that rest does not fix?

4What still feels good

How much do you feel that caregiving...

1. Brings you closer to the person you care for?

2. Gives you a sense of purpose?

3. Lets you give back for what they have done for you?

4. Shows you strengths you did not know you had?

5. Is appreciated by the person you care for or by others?

6. Fits with your values about family, faith or friendship?

5The life you have and the life you want

How much do you agree with each statement?

1. What I do each day does not fit with the kind of life I want to be living.

2. I feel I have lost part of who I used to be.

3. The person I care for and I no longer relate the way we used to, as partners, as parent and child, or as friends.

4. I do things for them now that I never expected to be doing.

5. I feel more like a nurse or a manager than a partner, a child or a friend.

6. Other people expect me to keep going no matter what it costs me.

6Mood and energy

Over the past two weeks, how often have you...

1. Felt down, low or hopeless?

2. Had trouble sleeping, or slept far more than usual?

3. Had little interest or pleasure in things you usually enjoy?

4. Had trouble concentrating on simple things?

5. Felt lonely, even with other people around?

6. Felt that everything was an effort?

Your results

Answer the questions above and your results will appear here. You can see them at any point, even with some questions left blank.

My notes

What you want to remember, what you want to ask about, who you want to talk to.

Send your results by email

Choose the mail service you use. A new message opens with your results already in it, ready to send to yourself, a family member or to me.

Open in Gmail Open in Outlook Open my mail program

If nothing opens, copy the text below and paste it into any message.

How the Family Caregiver Support Program works

Every state runs a Family Caregiver Support Program, funded under the Older Americans Act and delivered through the local Area Agency on Aging. It is for unpaid family and friends caring for an adult aged 60 and over, or for someone of any age with dementia, and for older relatives raising children. It is not means tested. What it offers depends on your state and your assessment, and usually includes some mix of respite care, counseling or support groups, caregiver training, help finding services, and small amounts of money for supplies or equipment.

The standard route is this:

Call the Eldercare Locator, 1-800-677-1116, weekdays, or search eldercare.acl.gov, and ask for the Area Agency on Aging that serves your county.
Ask that agency, by name, for the Family Caregiver Support Program and a caregiver assessment. Do not describe your situation and wait to be routed. Say the name of the program.
A care consultant will do a structured assessment with you, by phone or in person. In Washington State and several others it is the TCARE assessment, which takes 40 to 60 minutes. Your check-in results are a good rehearsal for it.
You get a care plan with specific services and a follow-up date. Ask for a copy in writing.

On Whidbey Island the agency is Island Senior Resources, 360-321-1600. Ask for the Family Caregiver Support Program.

While you wait: help you can reach this week

An assessment can take a few weeks to schedule. None of these need a referral, a diagnosis or an income test, and most are free.

Someone to talk to today

Alzheimer's Association 24/7 Helpline, 1-800-272-3900. Open every hour of every day, staffed by clinicians. You do not need a dementia diagnosis in the family to call; they help with any caregiving situation, including just needing to talk.
Caregiver Action Network Help Desk, 1-855-227-3640. Weekdays 8am to 7pm Eastern (5am to 4pm Pacific). Caregiving experts who help you find support groups, benefits and local services. Live chat and email at caregiveraction.org.
VA Caregiver Support Line, 1-855-260-3274. If the person you care for is a veteran. Weekdays 8am to 10pm Eastern, Saturdays 8am to 5pm Eastern.
Parkinson's Foundation Helpline, 1-800-473-4636. Weekdays 9am to 7pm Eastern, English and Spanish.
988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. Call or text 988 any hour. You do not have to be in crisis; caregivers call when they are overwhelmed.

Support groups you can join from home

Family Caregiver Alliance online groups at caregiver.org, including a general caregiver group and an LGBTQ+ caregiver group. Free, join by email from the website.
Alzheimer's Association virtual support groups run in every state, most weekly, free. Find one at alz.org or ask the helpline above to place you.
Well Spouse Association at wellspouse.org, for people caring for a husband, wife or partner. The Oregon and Washington online group meets the first Saturday of the month at 9:30am Pacific.
Powerful Tools for Caregivers, a six week class, online or in person, that teaches self-care and the practical side of caregiving. Find the next session near you at powerfultoolsforcaregivers.org.

Counseling for you

Ask the Family Caregiver Support Program for caregiver counseling by name when you call. Most states can pay for a set number of sessions, and you can ask for it before the full assessment.
If you have health insurance, caregiver stress is a reason to see a counselor under your own plan. Your doctor can refer you, or search psychologytoday.com for a therapist who lists caregiving or grief.
If you are employed, ask whether your workplace has an Employee Assistance Program. Most offer a few free counseling sessions and the employer is not told who used them.

Money for a break

Many states run a Lifespan Respite voucher. In Washington it is up to $1,000 a year per household for caregivers giving 40 or more hours a week, through PAVE: wapave.org, 253-442-3214, getrespite@wapave.org. Awards depend on funding, so apply early.

On Whidbey Island

Caregiver Support Group, in person, Wednesdays 10am to 11:30am, St. Augustine's in-the-Woods Episcopal Church, 5217 S Honeymoon Bay Rd, Freeland. Free, no sign-up, does not meet on public holidays.
Caregiver Support Group, on Zoom, Fridays 10am to 11am. Email reception@senior-resources.org or call 360-321-1600 for the link.
Parkinson's Support Group, on Zoom, Tuesdays 10am to 11am, for people with Parkinson's and their caregivers. Same contact.
Momentia Caregiver Support Group, Oak Harbor, second, fourth and fifth Tuesdays 10:30am to 11:30am, First United Methodist Church, 1050 SE Ireland St. A reminiscence group runs at the same time for the person you care for. Ginger Opdyke, 360-720-4535, whidbeymomentia@gmail.com.
Our Hearts Together, Oak Harbor, Thursdays 5:30pm to 6:30pm, 390 NW Midway Blvd B203, for caregivers of people with memory loss, with a supervised space for your person. 360-474-4905.

Checked October 26, 2026. Group times change, so confirm before your first visit.

What to ask when you call

Is there a wait for an assessment, and can anything start before it?
Is respite available, how many hours, and can I choose the person or agency who provides it?
Is there a caregiver support group, in person or online, and when does it meet?
Is there any funding for supplies, equipment or home changes, and how do I claim it?
Who is my named contact, and how do I reach them if things change?

Next steps

Print or email your results so you have them in front of you when you make the call.
Pick the one heaviest area from your results. That is the thing to ask for help with first. Trying to fix everything at once is how people end up fixing nothing.
Call your Area Agency on Aging and ask for the Family Caregiver Support Program by name.
Tell one person in your life what you learned from this check-in. Saying it out loud is where the load starts to shift.